How Might We Guide Our Mind for Success

My guest is Adelaide Goodeve. Adelaide is an elite performance coach, who, within 10 years, went from nearly bedridden to Ironman athlete and go-to performance coach for some of the world’s best companies, leaders, teams and athletes.

In this episode Adelaide talks about her journey and how brain training helped her, and how it helps people change mindsets to become elite performers.

Adelaide's linkedIn profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adelaide-goodeve/

Adelaides's website: https://www.adelaidegoodeve.com/

Transcript

Scott: [00:00:00]

Hello and welcome to the latest edition of How Might We, and we're gonna do something slightly different today. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna have a conversation and based on where we go with the conversation is how we going to. So we are going to name this show at the end of the recording. So my guest on this episode, it's Adelaide Goodeve.

So Adelaide, welcome.

Adelaide: Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Scott: You're welcome. So we'd like to introduce yourself to the audience. Yes.

Adelaide: My name is Adelaide and I'm an elite performance coach. I teach people how to reprogram their brains to tech the, to take their mindset to the next level and achieve their desired results, whether it's increased performance or enhanced happiness.

Scott: Okay. So, Helping people think differently is, is and sort of reprogramming that, that aspect of the brain. So do you wanna talk me through that a little bit, what that means? [00:01:00]

Adelaide: Yes. So our brain is plastic. So they used to think our brain was hardwired like an electric circuit. So once those pathways were laid down, they didn't think that they could change.

So you're kind of stuck with the results you got, whether they were great or not so great, but they now know that it's actually very far from the truth and the brain is plastic. You wanna think about your brain like a muscle. The more you train one neuro pathway, the stronger and better and faster it is at its job, the less you train another neuro pathway.

The weaker and weaker it becomes and the slur it is at its job. So if you're at the gym and you just worked out one arm, that one arm is gonna get super strong and then that other arm is gonna look like a noodle in comparison. And this is a bit like how your brain works. Cause if you were to train your left arm and it would, so it could catch up with your right arm.

And this is how the brain works, is, is always strengthening the neuro pathways that you use the most, not necessarily the ones which get you the results you want, but it's saying, [00:02:00] okay, they're using, for example, energy and. In the morning the most. So this is the pathways that are gonna make really strong.

We're gonna bring them closer together and it's gonna become easier for them to activate those feelings when thinking about the morning. And so it'll enhance those ones. But if we think of the morning and we're thinking dread the most, then it's going to strengthen and bring close together the neuro pathways for the morning and dread.

So when we think about the morning, we're like, Ugh, my gosh, I have to get up so early. And we're kind of already in that. State, It's a bit like sheep in the field. You have this chief sheep and every single day he takes his team to the same patch of grass. And over time that pathway is eroded and it's more and more visible.

It's deeper, and it's stronger in that ground. You can see it from space cause the grass is just not there anymore. And that path is very deep. It's a dirt path deep in the ground. Cause they're traveling it every single. But then one day that chief sheet kind of looks across the field and he goes, Wow, the grass of [00:03:00] there is so much greener.

Like, I bet my sheep could thrive if I took them to that area. So in that moment, in less than a split second, he change, He changes the path that they follow, and now that new neuro pathway or that new pathway in the field, Is now becoming the stronger one. They're walking it more and more often, they're using it the most.

That now becomes eroded away and you can see that pathway from space. The old pathway that they used to use is now taken back by nature and you can barely see it and it's very difficult to follow. And this is how the brain changes growth and develops as a result of how we use it and how we use it is determined by our language.

Scott: Okay, so there's a phrase, I can't remember if it's when I coined or had a conversation with or read somewhere. It says, language guides the mind.

Adelaide: Yes, a hundred percent. So the words we use are the architecture and structure, or by reality.

Scott: Yes. Yeah. Cuz what we say is, and our brain can't tell the difference between [00:04:00] reality and I what we think either kind of, so we can be thinking about something in the future, but it hasn't happened.

But our brain. We'll react as if we are in that situation. Exactly.

Adelaide: So it can't tell the difference between what's real and what's imaginary and it can be play to our advantage. Mm-hmm. , we can accelerate using specific tools at that neuroplasticity. So if we can get results, which may take years in very.

Well, I'm very in minutes sometimes actually. So for me, I had severe chronic fatigue syndrome, was how I became an elite performance coach. So I had severe chronic, oh, can't talk this morning, severe chronic fatigue syndrome for four years, and I learned how to. Fully recover by training my brain and I achieve that in three days and fully recovered.

So the brain can get extraordinary results in very quick time by harnessing the power of neuroplasticity and the language you use so you can get the results you want. May have taken years or maybe results you never would've attained. Dawn told me to have it for the rest of my life. But you can use the [00:05:00] brain to get physical and the mental results you want.

Scott: So mind over matter. Yes. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Okay. So it's interesting to say about performance and happiness cuz in, I can't remember that. Sean, I think is his first name and I've and he's got a great Ted talk about happiness. Mm-hmm. , it says quite often we, we put happiness as the result of something where really happiness is the driver to give us results.

Adelaide: Mm.

Scott: I love that because we normally say, When I get this I'll be happy. But in reality you come up constantly chasing something. Whereas if you are happy. That is the secret source of success. A

Adelaide: hundred percent. I always tell my clients they, Cause also, I feel sometimes, and in our culture as well, like to achieve something, you've almost gotta do it in this like very miserable way.

And so what I tell my clients is, how can you achieve this result but in a more enjoyable way? In a way that you're actually happy and it changes the way we do things in a dramatic way just by asking that very simple [00:06:00] question. So I absolutely, as Ted tore, it sounds like when I should.

Scott: I think it's Sean Arch and I think it is.

I will find it and let you have it. I'll put it in the link of the thing cause it is, That'd be great talk. Cause it again, a bit like you, he talks about just I think there's four or five questions you ask self every day and within 21 days you look at life more positively and has been proven that, that sort of asking yourself those questions, which goes back to you about the mind Yep.

And the language asking yourself, because you were hardwired to answer question. So

Adelaide: you are, and it's a great way to train your brain actually. So in the morning I always get my clients to a morning routine and the brain, our kind of default is to look for the negative. And when we're constantly looking for the negative, it highlights it to you.

Cause it's like, oh, she like, they want to see the negative. Well that's great. , I'll make it easier for them. And so it'll start to kind of take very small, maybe unhelpful things that happen throughout your day and make them into Mount Everest. But by asking yourself specific [00:07:00] questions, like Sean's saying, in this Ted toll, by the end of the bit, you are able to retrain your brain to to highlight you the positive stuff that's happen.

In your life, the stuff that makes you happy and that makes those kind of mole hills into your Mount Everest, which is what you want. You wanna be able to see the positive stuff going on in your life and our society. With social media, with the news, it's constantly training your brain to look the stuff that makes you.

Fearful or anxious or down. And by asking specific questions, especially in the morning, which is the perfect time to wire your brain, you want to really ensure that you are looking for the great stuff that's going on in your life, the stuff that's helping you achieve and create and cultivate the life that you really want to live.

Scott: Okay, so that's, Yeah, cuz what we, what we notice, what we think about is what we notice. So like if you are thinking about buying a car and you think, Oh, quite fancy. I know say an Audi, whatever it is, or a a a mini, all of a sudden you notice minis. Just why? Just cuz I'm thinking about them. I [00:08:00] see them everywhere is cuz your brain says that's what you're interested in.

So that's what I'm going to show.

Adelaide: Yeah, exactly. No, it was a really funny thing. So this was about 10, maybe 10 years ago, and me and a friend were walking down a very quaint high street in London, and I was single, I was around in my early twenties, so I was single looking, you know, looking for the hot guy.

Whereas my friend, she was in her mid thirties and desperately wanted a family. So walking down this high street in London, And she goes to me, she's like, Adelaide, there are so many yummy mummies here. And I was like, What are you talking about there? There aren't any here. And it was if a kinda a veil had been lifted, they were absolutely everywhere, like lining all of the streets on this hot summer day.

But because my brain was looking for hot guys, I just seeing like great looking guys everywhere. My brain wasn't highlighting to me these, this other genre of people and I just couldn't see them. Whereas she could only see them cause. She wanted that thing and [00:09:00] she just didn't have it. It was exactly like the car analogy, and for me it was, it was such a good example of how different people's brain edits their reality according to what they want or what they don't have as well.

And it was, it was quite extraordinary actually. And then it was, when I was learning about the brain, I was like, Wow, that's fascinating how it really does edit your reality and dull out certain things and highlight to you other things.

Scott: Yeah, it's confirmation bias, isn't it really? So the things that we, we think about the things that get, we get noticed.

Yeah. Is that amazing? You just say, ask one thing and do that, and the world can look completely different to you within that one question or that one bit of information you've been given. Yeah,

Adelaide: exactly. Which is why it's so great to ask those questions in the morning especially.

Scott: So basically filter change, the filter from which you look at your life that day.

And then so you threw it through that lens rather than this lens, and it makes a big difference. So [00:10:00] try that today. So how many red things can you notice today? And it'd be amazing how many red things you'll see today if you just ask yourself that one question and that's the color you'll see everywhere.

Unless you're like me in color blind, you, you can't see it anywhere. So it doesn't really matter.

Adelaide: struggle.

Scott: What does red look like? I've got no idea. Kind of that thing at the top of this, the Tells you what? Yeah, when that on, Just stop. That's it. Okay. I can do that. So it you, it's about neuroplasticity learning to harness that neuroplasticity and the language we go to guide to, to look at the good things in life that we have sort of that appreciation of, of the good.

Adelaide: Yes, it's looking at things that I say you are, you want to look for and talk to yourself in ways that is gonna. Enhance your life. Mm-hmm. , if you're looking to enhance performance, and it's like life and performance, enhancing ways that you want to be thinking and seeing your reality. So I tend to stay away from the negative and positive stuff.

Mm-hmm. , because we have in society labeled like some feelings as negative, such as [00:11:00]down feelings, and then other feelings is positive, like happiness and energy and all that great stuff. But for me it just, and I find it too simplistic because sometimes when. You know, when, when shit stuff happens, you know, those, those negative feelings or those down feelings, the sadness, grief, they're really helpful to feel and you need to feel into them to, to heal and to recover is when we come, when we get stuck in those unhelpful feelings.

In those feelings when they become unhelpful or non-performance or non-life enhancing. But I really encourage everyone to think is. Thinking about your thoughts about what you are doing and thinking it in ways is, is this helping me or is this not helping me achieve my goals or achieve the things I wanna feel?

Is this enhancing my life or is this not? Because once we start asking these kind of questions, you are able to, to guide yourself through your life in a much more helpful way than thinking is this positive or or negative? [00:12:00] Because the world just isn't that binary. There's so many colors out there, and we need to experience all of them at different times to get really great results and to live our best lives.

Scott: Okay. That's an interesting thing about that. Say those, what we would normally class as negative feelings are beneficial to us in certain contexts.

Adelaide: Mm. I think it's, we, we forget that sometimes, and it's important to remember that when something awful happens, actually, it's, it's great to feel. The sadness or the anger or the frustration to lean into that in a, in a healthy way.

And to not, obviously not linger in it. But for grief, for example, everyone processes it in in different ways and for different lengths of time. And for someone it could be helpful to feel it the slightly longer than someone else. But where I find some people struggle is they feel guilty for feeling this, this negative feeling cause they know they shouldn't be feeling it.

Where you start to see people trip up and actually it is healthy to feel these feelings sometimes.

Scott: Yeah. There's a thing called the mood [00:13:00] meter, which talks about feelings and it's on four axises and it doesn't say positive or negatives. It said is it pleasant or unpleasant and is it high or low energy?

And basically it goes in those four quad. So yeah, grief is an unpleasant feeling and it's low energy, but it can also be high energy cuz it could be anger and frustration as well. Mm. But I quite like what you're saying, but you are where you are and being able to recognize that I think is an important aspect as well.

So this is how I'm feeling and saying like, is this helping me or is this

Adelaide: not? Yeah. And then you can start to think, Well, actually what would help me? Instead, you can think, Well, how can I sort change? Mm-hmm. this feeling? What would I love to feel instead? And these questions aren't questions we ask ourselves.

They don't come naturally to us, but they can be so powerful in guiding you, in creating that life that you really want.

Scott: So to do what you do as a, How much do you think is a, a requirement for people to develop that le that the heightened level of self-awareness?

Adelaide: A requirement for me, it saved my life. So for me it's absolutely [00:14:00] vital that people start learning.

How does the brain not, you don't need to learn how does brain work, You become a neuroscientist, do this. But understanding the, that you can change how your brain is wide very quickly, I think is absolutely key to understand. Cause often we don't know that we think once we have something, so I have people come to me saying, I am a perfectionist.

I have anxiety. You know, the, the way they express these things that they necessarily don't want to have is that they're permanent. That they have this thing, or I am this thing, which is connected to their identity. And it can be very difficult to shift, especially when we're told actually you have it.

So like now you have to manage it. But a lot of the time, if you have something, or if you are something you can. The right tools and strategies not to have or be that person. You can choose something else. And often when we are not given that choice. So I think by thinking in these new ways, by asking yourself these new questions, [00:15:00] you can create your identity in a way that you really want and you can start to have the response to certain situations in the way you want as well.

So you don't have to do anxiety, you can. Something else instead. But often it's not presented in that way.

Scott: No, and I think I, that's an interesting point. Say cuz we do attach things to our identity. So even if it's an illness, an illness and some things that, or if it is something like that can't change.

But I don't think we are one thing, we are a multitude of things. A sense. Exactly. I I think we're too, we're too, too keen to label. Yeah. And sometimes they

Adelaide: big labels. That's, Yeah, that's the, the, the label's like the, the, the bane of my life. I really dislike labels because again, they're suggesting once you have this label, you, you have it.

You can't choose to take it off.

Scott: Well, there's an, When you label somebody, they [00:16:00] act to that label. Yeah.

Adelaide: Because I, because it's interesting cause once you get, once you're given, so as a child you'd be told, Oh, you're a very anxious child. And then you're like, Well, I'm anxious. And so the brain is like, Well, this is who you are, this is what we do.

It strengthens all of the neuro pathways around that. So of course, when. You're presented with a multitude of situations you respond in, in an anxious way because that's how your brain has been trained and programmed over all of those years. But what is cool is a lot of people think if you've had something for years, say 10 years, it's gonna take 10 years or years to change that response.

But because the brain doesn't understand the difference between what's imagining and what's reality and cause the brain is very plastic, you can actually create that transformation in. In hours, in minutes or in days.

Scott: And again, it's about that question, isn't it? I think it's Gary Klein, who's a great quote.

Again, I love my quote as you can probably gather, and he said once you gain a new insight, you can't go back to your old way of thinking. [00:17:00] Mm. So once you see this, the life slightly differently or, or start focus on different things, it's hard to go back. But, but I think what's important that you are saying is it's, although you can change your thinking in hours or minutes, It's, you've gotta carry on exercising that muscle over a period of time.

Right? So you can't just say, Oh, we're gonna look at life differently. You've gotta constantly ask yourself those questions to keep that pathway working.

Adelaide: Exactly. And that's where a lot of people have a downfall, I feel. They think like, Oh, I've created change and I'm done. But it is not like that at all.

You have to keep train training that muscle mm-hmm. and that you want and ensuring that the. The path that used to cause you trouble that that stays weak and that it's not being used. What's interesting is

I see, and I've experienced this myself as well with chronic fatigue syndrome, is sometimes when you do a specific process [00:18:00] and you have a massive transformation. So for example, for me, one of the childhood illnesses I had went away within three days and I never had to think about it. . I didn't even know that that was even possible when I went and learned how to train my brain.

Mm-hmm. . So I was really curious cuz with some people in a session you can create huge change and it's kind of, it's set and they don't really have to think about it again. Whereas for others with certain other things, you do have to keep training. The brain. So it also depends. And what can also trip people up is they've created a change.

That neuro pathway is solid, It's now unconsciously you're kind of like an unc, an unconscious genius. So you're unconsciously being great at something. Mm-hmm. . So you get to a point where you've trained the brain, that's now unconsciously training that neuro pathway for you. So you don't have to consciously think about activating and strengthening that neuro pathway.

But what can then happen is maybe a situation or your environment changes and then that [00:19:00]can trigger and activate. An old neuro pathway and then that's where you can kind of have a setback. And that happened to me. I was living in Canada and the, the changing environment wasn't a problem, but the situation changed when I was in Canada and for me it triggered an old neuro pathway for chronic fatigue syndrome.

And that's when I was like, Right, I have to learn more about the brain. Hmm. But I was like, That's absolutely fascinating. Cause I'd been completely fine for years and had traveled all around the world, but it was one. A similar situation to what triggered the Corona fatigue syndrome came up again in calendar.

And that's what triggered my setbacks. I was like, well, this is fascinating. How can I ensure that never happens again? And so it can, you just have to keep, as you said, keep going, keep being conscious about am I activating and strengthening and training the right neuro pathways for the results I want.

It sounds like it can be a. Effort and people can be like, Well it sounds like a lot of effort. Can I not just take a pill or can I not? Is there not like an easier way? Cause we're always looking for shortcuts and then easy ways. But it's really fun to train the brain. It's really fun to get [00:20:00] those great results.

And it is It's easier than going to the gym to some extent. So you wanna be looking and thinking about training your brain that it is a really great and fun thing to do. And asking yourself these questions is, is wonderful. And thinking how can you get more enjoyment and happiness by just changing your feelings and changing the words you use.

So I would like people to think that it is fun and it's interesting and it's curious thing to train your brain, not that it's a chore that you have to do, if that makes sense.

Scott: Yeah, I think if we see something's a chore, think, Oh, just dad, I'm so busy. And I say, Cuz we see it as a chore. Then it just, it just drops down the order of priorities as other things take over and the pressures of life.

But if we see it's something we enjoy doing, it's fun. I do this in the morning, it's great. Yeah. Whatever it is that you are doing, and I'm imagine it doesn't actually take long just to ask yourself a set of different questions. It's just No. Five minutes, . Five minutes. But so it's the, it's the cons.

Having that consistency

Adelaide: will then Yeah. Exactly. It's all about consistency. So I tell people like, you're [00:21:00]just looking for a 1% change, cuz that adds up to thousands of percent transformation over the years. Cause if you are looking, if you change by 1% every day it's not, it's more than 365%. Increase, you're looking at thousand like thousands and thousand percent increase because on day one you're at like a hundred percent for example.

And then day two you're at 101, and then day three you're looking at a 1% increase on 101. So you get a really huge transformation of just a 1% increase. That 1% increase could just be changing one thought or could be asking yourself that one question and acting on the answer so you don't have to do big life-changing things to.

Get a different result. It could just, you said it could just be that one question and that one thing, or having a post-it of that question or a quote that inspires you to create that change. It could be all you need to just nudge your brain in the direction because the brains will absorb that question.

It will absorb that quote, and that will [00:22:00] just, like on an unconscious basis, start to help you think in these performance and life enhancement ways as.

Scott: So there's two things in there that you mentioned. One is the compound effects of change. Mm. Which comes to a lot of people that I've spoken to and to do with sports.

They talk about this marginal gain. Yeah. And I think that's the difference between sort of being good at something and being a master at something is sometimes is just those little marginal gains that people have had. So that's an interesting thing. And, and we talked earlier, you talked about triggers as well and how triggers we can, the triggers can they, Old pathways because of that's how we dealt with it.

And it was obviously such a big thing in the past that, that it can trigger us and being aware of them as well.

So the marginal gains things, they just, And I think sometimes that is what we stop for, isn't it? Cause we want to, So if you say I wanna lose weight as an example you don't lose one stone overnight or two stone overnight. You lose about a pound week or whatever else it is. And eventually you get to where you want.

[00:23:00] It becomes easier and easier and easier because as you weigh less, you eat less and then you exercise more and it's easier when you get quicker and quicker and quicker at it because you are shifting less weight around. That's what I found with my bike. So I was training on a bike, but as I was losing weight as well, I was getting quicker because obviously I was getting stronger, but I had to move less weight.

Mm-hmm. , So every time I got a little bit stronger, I was actually. Faster by a higher percentage because I was shifting less weights and the power to weight ratio was changing rapidly as well.

Adelaide: Yeah, that's really fun when that does happen on the bike. I also love cycling. But yeah, it's, it is so great when that happens because yeah, you're, you are, you have less fat and then you have more muscles so you can

Scott: go faster.

Unless it's down here where it scares, scares the holy je at me. I've, Cause I I'm not too great on bikes. So we're going down this, I used to live in in Devon. Cornel. Very hilly. I learned It is. It is, but there's lots of hills. Mm. So you're going up the hill. I think that's hard work. And going down the hill, I don't really enjoy it that much.

So I do all the work and I'll get like, and everyone else is like whizzing past me, Oh my [00:24:00]God. Go see you around the corner. ,

Adelaide: please don't go. Yeah, I actually really get that. So when I started cycling, I didn't enjoy the downhill too much and a lot of people overtake me because I'm a bit slower and I'm a bit lighter.

So But yeah, I'm, I, I hit the brakes, especially in, in the uk The roads are so bad that if I can't see you, what's ahead of me? I'm like, is there a giant pothole coming? ? You just don't know

Scott: There is that and well in, Yeah, Devon and coal is a lot of his country lanes, so, so cars are gonna come the other way.

And so I wanna be out to stop because see these people like tanking past me like 30, 40 miles now and I'm doing like 20 around this corner going . Yeah,

Adelaide: no, I completely understand.

Scott: But again, that's again, it's what you are saying to yourself thinking about. He's affecting that performance at that time.

Somebody sits there and go, Okay, I'm doing this and I wanna go round that, bend this way. And we're sitting there going, I'm quite fearful of the potential around that corner. And that's having a huge impact on how we approach that, that corner.

Adelaide: Definitely. I actually, this is coming back. I had a client years ago now, and she's doing her first triathlon [00:25:00] and it was all about It was fear of open water swimming.

Mm-hmm. and then fear of the downhill as well. Because she had, it was her first one she started, I. Started triathlon a year ago to lose weight and to make friends. And she just really enjoyed it. But there was a spirit stopping her. And as I listen to yourself when you're cycling, what are you saying to yourself?

Cause when we start to ask those kind of questions, we tend not to be self-aware of the thoughts that we're having. Mm-hmm. Maybe we have an inkling. So she came back and had written down everything she thought, and it was all about like, not being good enough, too slow. Too big, you know I'm gonna fall.

I'm really scared, I'm anxious. I'm going too fast. I can't do this. I'm too wobbly, I'm unstable. You know, all of these thoughts which are stacking the odds really against you for a, having fun, and b, being a safe cyclist. So we stopped all those thoughts and replaced them with, I'm confident, I'm strong, I'm stable, and.

Often, like has [00:26:00] second completely transformed and just hasn't stopped since. It's been amazing. But it's really important, as you said, to think about the thoughts and then actually, what would I love to think instead? Because actually, you know, for some people it is helpful to be a bit more cautious on the downhill because, because of cars or because of competence levels or because of writing skill.

And then that's okay. But if. Want to be thinking in other terms or feeling other things. And that's when you need to create a change.

Scott: So again, that goes back to your, those negative, We say negative. I know you don't like the word negative, positive, but those more, those more cautious thoughts that you might have, could well be helping you.

Because if you are like me, I'm not a great cyclist downhill. I, I, I don't have. Ability to my cycle handling skills aren't great. Cause I used to cycle with somebody who used to be a downhill mountain bike cyclist. Oh wow. And what, what he can make the bike do. I'm just like, I'm not, He's like flying all over the place.

He [00:27:00] stands up, he spins around corners, He does all sorts. So I think, so I, I said, so for me they're quite helpful because they keep in an area that's gonna be. Yeah, I'm not taking risks and so to me that I'm quite comfortable not taking risks downhill, even on the flat rating, just ing along, doing my little funky thing.

Cause it showed me, we went to Athia and we did some cycling around there. Mm-hmm. and that coming down. And you've got people going, I, so there's cars everywhere, there's cyclists everywhere. There's people overtaking cyclists who are coming up the hill. Yeah. As were going down here, I said, This is chaos.

And interestingly, the locals were quite good at it. It was the tourist you had to watch in the cars. Mm. Because they're not used to that level of cyclist around. And, and, and interesting enough, mainly it was British British Road users, you had to be more careful of than Spanish.

Adelaide: Yeah. S sadly, that does not surprise me.

Scott: their attitude toward cycling is completely different with changes. How we cycle it [00:28:00]changes how they drive. And it is, it goes back to what you were saying is our attitude towards it, the language we have, our thoughts really do influence our behavior. Hmm. And what we see is acceptable, unacceptable.

What's good, what is bad.

Adelaide: Yeah. It influences absolutely everything and our physical health as well, which I don't think we fully understand or appreciate either.

Scott: No. Cuz I do. It's the, I can't remember the, the phrase of it, isn't it? But the, what we think in our, our physiological and physical health, there is a massive link between the two of them.

So what we think of, of, So if you've got somebody who doesn't feel isn't having a great day, you don't see them walking quickly.

Adelaide: No. You see them walking slower. They have more of a hunch posture. They're looking down. And then that will be how, and then they'll be the. What what's interesting is when it comes to changing language, when you have self talk is also, well, what, how does your voice sound?

And if someone's having a bad day, they'll be having this like a down sounding voice as well. They'll be slowed to. So you have all of that coming in. And the [00:29:00] fastest way you can get people to change state or to change feelings is literally to change your posture. And that's why power posing comes into play as well.

Because it changes the way when we smile. You are unable to feel those down feelings because of the chemicals being released in your brain. And so you wanna be harnessing this by ha when we wanna feel happy, just by bringing your shoulders back, by looking up, you're signaling to your body like, Hey, I, I feel happier, or I feel more positive or more optimistic.

So all of this, all of your, your body's posture, How you talk to yourself, how it sounds, it all changes your physical response as well. And it's interesting with, with the words we use, because often when we're maybe sick or we're in pain, it's like, Hey, how much pain are you in? Like 10. Like, let me know, like on a scale of one to 10, doctors ask us a lot as well.

Like 10, you're in, you're in a lot of pain. Zero. , you are not in very much pain. Like how? How much care would you rate yourself in on this pain scale? And by now you've obviously had, pain has been activated [00:30:00] five times by now, and so you're gonna be in a lot more pain. Cause you're thinking, how much pain am I in?

Okay, well my leg feels a bit painful. How much pain would that be if I was to rate on the pain scale? And so you are already like all of this is being activated and you're getting more pain in your body, so then it's gonna be like maybe an eight. Whereas if you're asked how much. Are you in, on a scale of one to 10 on this comfort scale, 10 being in your, in a huge amount of comfort, zero, you're not, you're not in a lot of comfort.

How high would you rate your comfort? Your brain's now scanning your body for comfort levels instead so, and it's gonna enhance the comfort levels of enhancing pain levels. So it's really the wordies are so interlinked to the body. It was my language that kept me stuck. Having severe chronic fatigue syndrome.

My broken wreck was like, Ugh, I'm so tired. Like I look outta bed. So much effort. I'm so tired. Like brushing your teeth. Wow, this is such a heavy toothbrush. It's really tiring. I can't do this. You know, that was was what I was talking to myself. So no wonder I [00:31:00] stayed stuck by accident and unintentionally in that state of chronic fatigue, and I was by changing that language that helped me to fully recover.

So it's, it's fascinating the way that our, our brain is so interlinked to our physical body's response.

Scott: It's interesting, and we talked about that, that comfort zone, the language you uses. How high are you as well? Yeah. Not where are you, but how high are you? So you're encouraging people to push their level of comfort up?

Cause we're talking. Yeah. Oh, how high is it? Not how low is it? It's how far,

Adelaide: Exactly. But not many people I've, I've used examples same times to the first person who's ever like picked up on that because not many people realize the subtlety of language either. So when you are encouraging change, you're.

encouraging it using language. Mm-hmm. . So like, how much positive transformation would you love to have? Like how high would you school yourself? Like how, how great is your day going so far? Instead of asking, how are you as well, how great a day are you having? So the study of language is fascinating, creating and nudging [00:32:00] people in the right direction.

Of course the opposite is also true and it can be encouraged. The, the other way as.

Scott: So learning that and really, really, really nailing down and really being aware of the language we use as, and even as you say, even those subtleties in how or what words we're using and how they influence what we then scan for.

Mm-hmm. So I suppose it's like a, a radar, isn't it? You your language sets the, sets the sensitivity in what the radar's actually looking for and then the brain goes and does its thing. Yeah, I love

Adelaide: that. Exactly.

Scott: So your, your, your, your, your, your language is the input and your, Cause your brain's really good cuz it is, it's trying to be as helpful as it possibly can and it's highly fuel cuz it's, I think I read some ways in it.

So the brain. Uses about 20 to 30% of the energy of an adult and about 60% of the energy of a child. Mm. And it can literally power a light bulb when he's thinking the amount of energy it can create. So it [00:33:00] says, Well, you know, I'm quite, look at it as a car. So your, your, your brain's really a four by four or the jun in your fuel consumption.

So what it says is, How can I autopilot more of this to make it more. So, but your language, exactly your language will guide those autopilot ritual, neuro, neuro, neuro pathways that you generate. And then as you said, the brain will unconsciously do it for you don't even have

Adelaide: to think. Yeah. And you wanna just make sure that you are autopiloting the right neuro pathways.

Cause you said it's looking at what's helpful to you. Mm-hmm. . And often what's helpful to you is the neuros that you've used the most. So if you wanna be a more confident person, but the pathways you've used the. For anxiety, that is what the brain is gonna make that shortcut for you and what, what it'll put on an autopilot.

Cause it thinks that's what's being helpful to you. Mm-hmm. . So you've gotta make sure that you are putting on autopilot the confidence in your pathway or the results that will get you what you want. Because the brain, the brain doesn't mean to sabotage you. It, it just does by [00:34:00] accident and unintentionally.

Scott: Yeah. It's just doing, it's doing what you're guiding it to. Really, isn't it? Is it? Yeah. So it is a, is it a slave to us or is a we a slave to it? That's an interesting conversation. Mm-hmm. And as loads of people say about that, the level of consciousness and unconsciousness and where sits where and who drives what.

But even for something to be unconscious, it has to be driven. But for me, it has to be put in there consciously to start with.

Adelaide: Yeah, exactly What I find for me, I feel the brain having, So with my experience with Corona fatigue syndrome it was unconscious and unintentional that I created the severe state of Corona fatigue syndrome for, for years for myself.

Like I didn't mean, like I, I did not wish that on myself, but I was an unconscious genius or an upside down genius at creating that result and kind of upside down genius cuz you are brilliant at getting the. Result. So it was like an unconscious upside down genius cause I could get it on demand whenever I wanted.

It was like one of those, like a car that was maybe like a real tin can car, but just started on [00:35:00]those frosty days every day. So you had to get this like unhelpful result. But by consciously making it, by making a conscious process and. Understanding, Okay, well this is the real, the result that is occurring, this is the result I want, and then making that result happen, I was then becoming consciously competent at getting a good result.

Then that led to me becoming an unconscious genius, as you said, when that's on autopilot for getting the results you really, really want. So for me, as a hundred percent, it can start on a unconscious basis, but you are then stepping into your power and harnessing the brain to get the results you want.

Scott: So again, goes back to that awareness of what is, what am I possibly unconsciously doing with my language?

I love that upside down genius. I've never heard that before. I think it's brilliant.

Adelaide: Yeah. So I can't take full credit for that. So I learned with Phil Parker who created Dr. Phil Parker, who created the lightning process. That's how I feel. You recovered from chronic fatigue syndrome and he calls it when you are brilliant at getting a result you don't want is an upside down genius.

And I was like, it's such a, it is such a [00:36:00] great term and I, I love it as well and I use it all the time. When we get an unhelpful response, people kind of beat themselves up about it. But actually it's amazing in like, in an, in an upside down way. It's really amazing that your brain and your body has been so good at getting you this result that yes is unhelpful, but in a very brilliant and con and consistent and reliable way and say, Well, what happens if we could use that process but get you the result you actually want?

And then that's a very interesting, like, well that would be really cool. Like, how do I get that? And then you can go onto the next step.

Scott: So how do you harness the consistency of your brain's, the ability of your brain to be consistent in doing something instead of that way? To this way?

Adelaide: Yeah. Because sun, often, when we sabotage ourselves, it can be very great at doing, sabotaging ourselves in that one way.

Mm-hmm. and a lot of people are like, Oh, it's so frustrating, it's annoying, It's, they get angry about it. But [00:37:00] actually you wanna put. Kind of a positive spin on that and reframe it and be like, Well, that's amazing because your brain is doing this for you in this really incredible way, and it, it thinks that this is what you want, but it's not.

But let's just look at the, the way it's getting it for you. Like that is incredible. Why don't we do that, but just get you the result you actually want instead. And people like, Wow, that's actually, And that starts to change. It starts to opens people's minds up to change as well when they reframe it and seeing it as a good thing.

There was a guy, so in your linguistic programming you have Richard Bandler, who was the creator of it, and he has an audio book. And one of the examples he uses, which I think is absolutely fascinating is the London bombings. And this girl comes to him, he's terrified. She was on the, on the bus when the, during the London bombings and now she's terrified of buses in ruck sex.

To reframe it. Bandler goes, Well, actually I would love to have you as my bodyguard. Do you, Do you hire out your [00:38:00] services? And she's like, What are you talking about? And he's like, Well, statistically, the chances of you being in another attacks into this is like ridiculously low. So if you are with me when I travel around London, he was like, I'll be completely.

And she'd never thought about it like that before. And it started to shift the stuckness. Cause she started to see a, a, like a, a slightly positive way. Of be of reacting in this way or having that experience. So just by sometimes reframing and looking at it from a different perspective, we can start to see a positive aspect of doing that unhelpful response or of having this experience that maybe we can just see as sabotaging ourself all the time.

Scott: And again, we we keep, we circle back to this language, the unconscious language that we use or the expectations. Yeah. How it really does drive our, drive, our behavior and how we perceive so that say refocusing or recalibrating how we look [00:39:00] at the world or that it gives us a different reality. Cause there is how the.

They did an interesting, I think they did a, and it shows you how we think. We see something, we accept everyone to see the same thing and they don't, because again, how they look at the world and what they think's important and what they think about that time is what the brain's gonna be looking at. Did an experiment, led some people in a pub, then they got some actors in, had a big fight, and then the police turned up.

Yeah, and he interviewed to 12 people and it was like you saw 12 different films. So there were 12 completely different variations of exactly the same incident that they all witnessed at exactly the same time. Because of possibly their different ways of looking at things, what they would notice, what they didn't see how conscious they were of what was going on around them, how much they might have been in their own thoughts and internalizing at that point.

So that one event was not seen the same by 12 people who were.

Adelaide: Yeah, which is great cause imagine if it was the world would be such a, like a much more dull place. ,

Scott: I'd be boring as, wouldn't it be boring as, And then if you wouldn have a job and neither would I. So there we, this is [00:40:00] quite good. So if everyone saw the world this away, it'd be fantastic.

It would be great and it'd be great to get people that way. But it is a journey for us to help people of what you are talking about for your or people on that journey. So when we started, we talked about unstoppable performance and Happys. Is where we were playing around with the name of this. I think we've, we just keep coming back to that same thing, doesn't it about be really aware of how you are talking to yourself and what you are doing, but harnessing that plasticity of the brain Mm.

And saying, isn't it again, I'll go back to that genius thing. Isn't it great what the brain's done process wise? Yeah. And then how can we then harness that process or guide that process or point it to a more positive outcome for us? Sounds so simple, doesn't it? So

Adelaide: simple. The funny thing is though, is it is almost that simple just by, you just have to ask a couple of questions and use performance enhancing language, but it's the consistency [00:41:00] that can make it more challenging.

And sometimes when we're in ourselves, you can't see the wood for the trees as well, so you need, Well, that's why we come in, is having someone else come in and guide you through. That process. Cause long as you just get stuck and you need another perspective, who can, who can help you see the wood for the trees.

Absolutely.

Scott: And that's, I think that's all useful for everyone just to sit back and say, Do you know what, How have I just, after it, just think about at the end of today, what language have you used today? Mm. And then how much of it has been helped you? And how much of it has not helped you achieve what you want to achieve?

And it's simple then, then at least you get an idea of where you are in your own, in your own internal. .

Adelaide: Yeah, exactly. Or if you have an event coming up whether it's a presentation, a talk, or a meeting, an interview then what kind of thoughts are you having around that? Cause often it can be really helpful and you're setting yourself up for success.

Or, or perhaps you are, you're not. So that's another great place to look for what language am I using and what would I love to be [00:42:00] thinking or feeling? I.

Scott: Yeah, I do think, cause I've I've talked to quite a few people in around interviews and I do think a lot of people have talked themselves out the job before they've even turned.

Adelaide: A hundred percent. Yeah. I've helped so many people through the interview process. It's been fascinating because they do do that. People are talking themselves out of the job. They're talking themselves down, they're talking themselves into an unhelpful state. So when they go into the interview, they may be more anxious and the calm, confident person they usually are.

So it is you, you need to talk yourself into things, into everything. Whether it's for an interview or whether it's for. A talk, a presentation, a project being good at a project. Recently it was quite interesting. I had a friend going, she travels for work and they were going to, going to India and I could just hear herself talking herself out of doing this amazing job in India.

And I was like, You? And I said, I was like, Do you mind if I just intersected? Cause I, sometimes people aren't open to coaching, which is completely fine. But I was like, Please start talking yourself into doing this. Because I was like, you're. Amazing at your job. I was like, you can do [00:43:00] this. And some, we just need that person say like, You can do this, but just start talking yourself interviewing amazing.

Or interview being the amazing person that you are in this, in this project because you have got it. And you can do it. And just remember all the reasons why you can.

Scott: I, I think, and that's interesting cause I, I was coaching somebody a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about them dealing with a character that they.

There was some conflict at work in the character and cuz they'd just gone into this new role and this other thing. And then this person had come from customer services and I said, How would you deal with them if they were a customer with a complaint? And they went, so, so if I see that person as a customer, then they've got all those processes in place about how they, And it's the same skill sets.

Now, I do think, and it's interesting what you say, that we tend to learn something in a context and we say, Yep, it's only, it's only applicable in that context. I mean something different. I are you, you're still the same person. Those skills still exist. You've learn to dev, deliver 'em in that context, [00:44:00] but you're in a different one.

Are they applicable?

Adelaide: I absolutely love that. And it's so true. A lot of people, we kind of compartmentalize almost and separate these things, but the skills are, as you said, they're complete transferable and intermixed and there's learning to pull on them in different situations, to to be your, to be your best valve and to be your performance enhancing way as well.

Scott: So instead of seeing the world like a box, see the world like a do dot. Oh, I

Adelaide: like that. I've not heard that one before. That's a great one. That's mine. Brilliant. Absolutely. That's an awesome one.

Scott: Well, I go cuz I I do Clifton strengths, so that's about understanding what we're good at and then how we can lean into that.

And some of the things you were talk about, perfection is that might be somebody who's got high levels of discipline. Mm. And so, discipline's cool, discipline's a good thing. And how can you leverage that discipline to get you what you want? Yeah. But understanding that's, that's your tendency, which is cool.

We all have our tendencies, but it's about do we need to dial it up sometimes dial it down, sometimes. When is it helpful? When is it in hunger? Helpful. And then we would, and I just said, cuz I've got high ideation. [00:45:00] So I just sit there and I just look at the world and it's like.to dot. And I can sort of pull things from different areas.

So I don't see anything as a box because I think that just that constrains it. I said just look at it as a dot. And then you wanna draw a picture. What dots have you got to help you draw that picture? Mm. What, what exists and what have you learned? What, what is from where and how can you draw it into what you need to do now?

Because I don't think there is a box, even when people say, get out, out the box sinking. So I don't like that phrase.

Adelaide: No. It is always suggesting there's limits to that

Scott: and boxes. If there was a box, then we'd all have the same box. Yeah, we would, but we, we don't. So there can't be

Adelaide: No, a hundred percent. I agree with you there.

It's quite funny there a lot of society, normal sayings you can often find. Or I think if you are into language, if you're into coaching, a lot of them you can find what am I trying to say? That they're very limiting a lot of the time and they can find people to thinking in certain ways. But [00:46:00] actually I'd be so curious with like, for example, like the book thinking if, if there are different phrases or if society could start again, but from.

A limitless place, an a, a place of abundance. How would that change people's perceptions and change society norms? Cause I often find, especially with the environment that we're c, that's cultivated, if we could start from scratch again, but only for example, in the news, if it was the opposite was true, how would that change people's thoughts and that change people's mental and physical?

Scott: That would be an interesting experiment. If we could run one. If we could pilot

Adelaide: it. If you could do it, it'd be fascinating.

Scott: Amazing. Just say if we just change the way things like, how are you feeling today? Not bad.

Adelaide: I hate that. Fine. Okay.

Scott: Not bad. And I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. So I think that's But you do, you look at all the language We do and it comes, but they've, So one of the theories is how we are that we are in some ways is the people who are more cautious.

That trait of cautiousness and [00:47:00] fear are the people who survive. Mm. And the people who are more cavalier and more less risk averse and sort of more adventurous are the people who die because in the old days, way forward, is that, is that a tiger around the corner? And then people who are more, Oh, go and have a look and all of a sudden there's a tiger.

So that sort of gene of that gets sort of Because they, they, they die more often. It, it kind of gets, I can't remember with the word now. It, it, there's less of them. So it becomes less and less and less and less, and the more cautious people, the people live. So that becomes the gene that gets permeates through, through us as, as, as humans.

And then maybe that's why we've got more of a, an inkling towards fear than the positive. Mm-hmm. , So I can't remember. I think it might be David Rock who talks.

Adelaide: Interesting. That makes sense. It'd be curious. I wonder how far you need to get away from that. Cause obviously we don't really have the fight or flight in the, in the natural world anymore.

So I wonder how far we need to get away from that for, [00:48:00] for things to start to change.

Scott: Yeah, because it's hard. Why didn't it fight or flight? Fight for, It's hardwired and we just don't see, we know it's, now it's things as you say, like it's, it's fear of The threats we see can be psychological, can be physiological.

So things around about how do people perceive me? Everyone think that's why people don't like public speaking is because I could get rejected by people and they might be my peers. I'm gonna get rejected in public and, and that's the fear that drives it, which is, is a huge fear because it's, we we're social and a social rejection.

And that's I think why people, there's such a anxiety people have, or a fear or, or around speaking in public cuz that fear. What happens if they don't like

Adelaide: me? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or if I completely bomb or, Yeah.

Scott: And what's gonna happen to me? What are people gonna think about me is in front of everybody else and it's gonna, it's gonna be horrendous.

So telling a Joe about comedian, telling an uny joke in an audience, and all of a sudden nobody laughs. Oh, but that's, I think those are the things we can say. If [00:49:00] we understand where we are coming from and why, as you say, then it can help us manage that situation and us in a better way to have those positive outcome.

Definitely. But that level of awareness we go back to. So we are coming to near the end, I believe. So what would you like to call it?

Adelaide: It's a great question, . I do like how to think better for something maybe.

Scott: Okay. How might we

Adelaide: think better?

Maybe it's not very en. Do you have an idea in mind?

Scott: I was thinking, I'd rather thinking better. How might we guide our mind for success?

Adelaide: That's a great title. Let's go with that one. You like that one? Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's way better than what I was thinking of.

Scott: I might, we guide our mind for success. Cause it goes back to what we were all saying, isn't it?

That language guides the minds.

And the success is whatever you want it to be. Performance, [00:50:00] whatever. Exactly. Yeah. Anything. It's the life you want to achieve. And so what you are doing is helping you get to where you want to be as a person. You Yeah.

Adelaide: In a, in a more enjoyable way. , I

Scott: like that. The more Enjoy. Cause we are very stoic, aren't we?

Stoicisms quite high. The, that we have to make sacrifices to achieve for. And that permeates through a lot of the stuff is go Okay. Cuz it's like, and I think sometimes maybe Covid is actually trying, starting to change that, that built in because I was doing some work with somebody and they were talking and one of the questions I asked is about leadership training.

Leadership coaching just during Covid. And I said, What has Covid given you? What do you appreciate about Covid? The experience, what has it given you that you appreciate and so many people answering that questions about that time, that chance to slow down and appreciate that. And then, and then sit there.

I was on this, this wheel just running around doing things like, I'm doing this for my future, but are you enjoying the today? Mm-hmm. And a lot of 'em say no. So when they go back, [00:51:00] it's gonna change about what is acceptable, what's not acceptable. And so I, I really think it's important about, as you've highlighted, enjoying the journey as well.

You

Adelaide: have to, It's so important. We tend not to. Yeah, we tend not to, and we don't, We tend not to look for ways in which we can mm-hmm. or we already assume that we can't. And we assume that it's gonna be hard and it's gonna be boring. And because of that assumption, that's how we create the processes to achieve what we want to achieve.

If you're looking well, how can I make it more enjoyable? How can I make it, you know, more high energy or how can I get excited about it? Then we start to recreate the processes and transform 'em into ways in which we do enjoy things and even the boring stuff can become enjoyable. Maybe because of the outcome that it gets us.

Scott: Yeah, I mean, I suppose if you talk to people who train, Cause it's interesting when you talk to an athlete, they don't go to the gym, they don't diet. No. It's a lifestyle. They, they train and eat. So they see that as part of their, their training [00:52:00] is part of their lifestyle. Yeah. And they, I'd imagine most of the time, cause I had to say like you, I love cycling.

So I go out, I'll go out my bike, not so much cause I've put a lot of weight on. So it's been over at the Covid. I've got out as much as I wanted to. But just going out on a bike and even if I do 50 miles and I did land, enter John Gros amazing. And I didn't see it as a chore. I loved it cuz it's, I think it's just a great way of experiencing the uk not in a.

Not walking. And we were all mainly B roads, so we weren't one of these like do it in nine days types. It was over two weeks. Yeah. So it was, and people took my bag. So I wasn't self, I wasn't self-sufficient, but but I saw parts of the world. I've never, parts of the UK I've never seen before. Saw B Roads went through like Cornall Devon up through there, into Wales Cross and through.

North new North England and through the lake districts and up through Scotland and Scotland's a long country. You think when you pass the border, you're nearly there? No, it's a long, It doesn't look like it. It's a long way. So I went through Edinburgh, [00:53:00] then went through Inverness, no cross that.

So, so were amazing parts of the country really up close and personal and didn't tank it. Didn't get my head down and just do it. Some people did because they, that was their challenge. They set for themselves how fast can I do this? And that's what they wanted. I just said how, to me, I said, Cause we started and I.

So we're on holiday. Yeah. So we stopped and had ice creams on the way in bits and pieces, and we just enjoyed the experience and we had a great time. Great time. But it was physically quite demanding. Mm. I didn't see it as a chore. I saw it as something I enjoyed doing.

Adelaide: Yeah. And something you get to do as well.

Mm-hmm. . And it's, And that's the difference I, I think when people fail at dieting and fail at exercising is cause it's a chore and something they have to do where it's actually, again, like what can you do to make that process enjoyable? Like what sport or what kind of physical thing would you love to do instead?

And actually, I think walking is the most undervalued form of exercise that you have out there because anyone can walk. It's non-impact. It's brilliant. You can just go out your door and you can see areas of your landscape. Of [00:54:00] your country that you wouldn't necessarily see in certain, in such a slow way.

And I love walking. I, I'm walking all the time. We have dogs as well, so they kind of make you go out there and, and walk and explore locations and try out different, different trails that you just wouldn't do. And it's really, it's, it's so, it can be so fun and you can listen to music or an audio book as well if you want, but I feel.

Is when it fails is when people look at like, Oh, it's gonna be so boring. It's gonna be really hard. And science is great. They want it to be hard, but I feel like what, what do you, again, coming back to the same thing, like what do you enjoy doing the most? Is it cycling or walking or running or swimming or a combination of everything and then kind of being like an athlete you get to do, And is that part of your lifestyle that you look forward to doing that thing?

Scott: Absolutely. It's like last night just went out on the bike ride, just did 20 miles. Off work. So come on, it's sunny, let's go out. It's great. Oh,

Adelaide: such a nice evening. Last night. I'm jealous.

Scott: And I live near the sea, so we basically, and we, but the way [00:55:00] out, we had our headwinds and I was like, but remember, it means it's gonna be so much easier coming home cuz it was an album back.

So it was right. Cause we went west into this western, the easily headwinds and, and coming back, we flew down the promenade. It was great. And the beach was on the sides and we thought, and then there was little bars said, Should we stop and have a, have a drink on the beach? What a life.

Adelaide: Amazing. That sounds incredible.

Scott: It was a good, It was a good evening. But okay. Adelaide, it's been an absolute pleasure talking to you and thank very much for your time and your insights. So how might we guide our minds for success? Happy with that? Yeah. Brilliant.

Adelaide: Thank

Scott: you. I do. Okay. Thank you very much for your time.

Thank you

Adelaide: so much for having me. It's been really fun.

Scott: You're welcome.